EAT. PRAY. LOVE

With a global pandemic happening across the world, most of us now are stuck at home, but the weird thing is, being halted from my life has significantly improved it. 

Eat, pray, love – the three essentials to life.

“Dolce far niente,” it means the sweetness of doing nothing. 

A couple of years ago, I was so obsessed with the idea of always being on the go - working on a project or just go do something big and fun. I would always try to create events; trying to fill every bit of my schedule so that my life will be worth something. I thought that doing a lot of things will bring me happiness and joy, but it was the opposite. 

I think in the modern world, we are often so busy that we forget to just slow down and enjoy the simple things in life. We are so caught up in what the world has deemed important that we forget about what truly matters. 

EAT

I believe food plays a huge role in our daily life. It doesn’t just affect our body but also our brain and emotion, hence why I try to cook as much as possible. There’s something so special about food, especially when it’s homemade. I think we can somehow feel the amount of love and effort that was put into a dish, which is why our grandma’s cooking always taste special and precious. Consuming this kind of food makes us feel safe and warm, but when we religiously eat junk, our life becomes a mess as it ruins our brain; effecting our thoughts and emotion (This has been scientifically proven, and yes I know - very shocking)

When I was younger, I was always told about being too fat to be pretty and that word was forever engrained in my brain. I would go on every type of diet; standing through the hunger and pain. I was so hung up on how many calories I ate, thinking that if I was skinnier, I would be prettier and therefore, loved. 

When that didn’t happen, I ate everything that taste good – never caring about how healthy or bad it was for my body. I had a very bumpy relationship with food - never finding the right balance or method, but when Corona happened, I had a lot of time. I thought to myself that it was time for a change. I started reading a lot of self-help books to help me improve myself, and there was something about being numb that disallow us to enjoy the little things in life. 

So how do you reset yourself from being numb? One of the practices is: eating food slowly, without any distractions, just focusing on your food, tasting every flavour that it releases. The simplest form of practice and yet, it is the secret to having a good life. Eating food awakens our senses, but we are so used to it that it becomes part of the mundane. Being mindful about what you’re eating allows you to feel that joy and happiness that was always there from the start.

Lately, I’ve been very conscious of what I eat. I believe that we are responsible for taking care of ourselves, and the best way to do it is through eating healthy. I think cooking is a form of self-care. You’re putting in a lot of time, effort, and love for yourself. It’s a calming activity for me, it helps me relax and clear my mind when I’m feeling a bit down or when my emotions feel out-of-place. When you cook, you start to appreciate the food that is in front of you. You realise just how special something like food can be, and I truly believe that learning to enjoy the little things in life is the secret to a good and happy life. 

I don't obsess over how much food I’m eating or the weight I’m gaining anymore. Cooking helped me to eat better food that is delicious and nutritious. Now I know that if I eat healthily and mindfully, my body will reflect that - and that is enough for me - even if it’s not by society’s standard. 

PRAY 

I wasn’t much of a believer when I was younger. I used to believe that in this world, it’s all up to you, and you are in control. The idea of people praying, asking for something to make their life better never strike me as being noble but instead, delusional. Naturally, prayer wasn’t something that I felt was important.

I was lost until a year ago. I never realised that I was lost, but I was. I thought that I was getting better from all of my efforts and even though I didn't. I was lost and scared. I didn’t know what to do or where I’m going with my life. I didn’t know if things are going to be okay or if my life will be turning for the worse - that is until I accidentally met a Buddhist monk. 

I was eating at a small Vietnamese restaurant, just casually enjoying a Banh-mi when the shopkeeper told me about a temple a few houses away. My dad asked me if I wanted to go for a visit and take a look around the place. My dad is a very adventurous guy, so looking at how excited he was, I agreed. 

We went there, 

met a monk, 

he told me to pray, 

and so I did. 

When I pray, I think better. When things are hard, scary and confusing, prayer helped me clear my head and find a solution that my head could not form. When I pray, I’m reminded of the person I am - the person I want to be.  

There’s something about praying that pulls you in when you stray too far. It helps you feel like you are a part of this world. It helps you feel connected to every life, being, and form, which makes you feel like you have a place here. 

When I pray God answers. Praying doesn’t make me know all the answers like what will happen tomorrow. On the contrary, it made me realise that the world is full of mystery and uncertainty, and that is okay. We just need to let things be what they are. To let go of our expectations and need for control; letting things flow as they should.  

Some people say that praying is just you talking to your subconscious, but I like to believe that it’s God, and he is within me. Knowing that he is within me, made me a bit more courageous.

LOVE

To love or not to love? The famous Shakespeare quote. Loving is scary indeed, especially when we’ve been hurt from it. We love a lot and care a lot, that’s why it hurts a lot.

We are scared to love because we know how much of ourself we could lose and how much it can hurt. After many heartbreaks, we do not want to love because we lose faith. We have this uncertainty within us. We don’t know if that person will hurt us, and we know that they could. It’s almost like we expect the hurt and pain to come back again if we love someone. 

I read a book a couple of months ago. It’s about how young artists who started university were so full of passion and love for art, but towards the middle, they got broken. The school broke them, and they finally lost their passion and love for art. Many of them never got it back, dropped out, and even pursued a new career without ever looking back at art again. The surprising thing is, the school is purposely trying to break them down because they know that the true artist will always find their passion and love again. The true artist will always come back and become even better at art than ever before. The true artist will make it in the real world. 

That chapter made me think about life. I think it’s a lot similar to how life works. We were so full of love and hope when we were younger and as we age, we slowly get broken down by the world. It’s almost like the world is out to get you, but that is exactly the point. It’s a challenge about whether or not you can heal yourself and come back from it. The world is trying to break you down because when you build yourself up again, you become stronger and happier than before. It builds you for the wonderful future that you can have. It is not out to get you, it’s preparing you, and it's our choice whether we want to try again or stop because we’re to scared. 

I know how daunting it is to let ourselves take a leap of faith, but love is worth it. I think life is all about love, and without love, we have not truly lived. I think one of the reasons we live is so that we can feel love and experience love. The day we stop loving is the day we died. Simply put, Living without love is a loss.

Now here’s a little tip that I learned about love:

1. You can never truly love or accept love if you haven’t loved yourself.
2. When you have loved yourself, you will know how precious your love is, and it is not wrong for you to want the same kind of love.
3. Love someone who loves you as much as you love yourself. Don’t settle for anything less. 

Alright, alright, alright,

Girl On Paper