Growing up in the city

There are 5 rules that I learned from living in the city

1. Do not walk on an empty dark alley near a bar (even if it’s a shortcut), unless you want to see people kissing and groping left and right, and then proceeding to puke on you. 
2. Save the bbq for when you’re at a park because your fire alarm will turn on and some people will have to walk down 11 stairs.
3. Look directly in the direction you want to go. Otherwise, you will be tossed around like a salad in the middle of a street and ended up with bruises from being bumped by a heavy box.
4. You can stand on trams and train, but when riding a bus, TAKE A SEAT IMMEDIATELY or fall in front of everyone (not a great experience).
5. NEVER LOOK AT WEIRDOS!! Especially if they are looking at you. Not looking will reduce any chances of them talking or coming up to you. 

I was 17 when I arrived in the city of Melbourne. I was accompanied by my parents and we were busy unpacking my stuff, making sure that I had everything I need in my very first apartment. It felt like a dream come true. College in a new country, my best friend living exactly 5 blocks away from me, and it is for the most part. 

 

The first thing I did in my apartment was place decorations that my friends gave me before I moved. I remembered walking around the city doing nothing - just seeing - taking it all in. The nice cold weather, the sound of trams and bells, and the way roads shine when it just rained. 

Life in the city is vibrant, filled with many interesting strangers. One time at a uni outing, my best friend and I ended up sitting at a table full of guys and they started talking about where they came from and what they’ve done. I don’t remember what they all say, but one was a lawyer, the other had just earned his engineering degree from Dubai, and the rest are just as impressive. When our turn came and they asked about what we’ve done, we simply said, “well, we've just graduated high school”. It might seem like we’re out of place, but in the city, you start meeting and talking to people who are very different from your usual circle and in a way, it broadens your perspective

The city is also filled with diverse people from many different cultures which makes the food AMAZING! Speaking of diverse people, one time a fire alarm at my building went off and we (me and my sister) were forced to walk down the stairs. The thing is, there was an old couple in front of us , so we had to to go down slowly, one step at a time. In the middle of it all, out of nowhere my sister blurted out,  “in this case, we’re all going to die”. In that moment they turned around, and SPOKE IN INDONESIAN. 

They were really friendly tho, but my advice? Careful of what u say, even in another language.

With a best friend living 10 minutes away from me, we did A LOT of stuff together like: going on afternoon teas, exploring the city, which somehow lead us to a witch shop that sells crystals, tarots, and potions (it was pretty interesting, we got our fortune told by some sort of a big-wooden-barrel?), and of course my personal favourite, SHOPPING! We would walk miles and miles, visiting every clothing shop that the city offered. Our record was walking 10 Kilometres, which is the sole reason why we only shop with each other. 

Ever heard of shop till you drop? One time, we invited our friends to shop with us, they were so tired that their legs gave up and had to sit down on the floor (I don’t think they were having a great time). 

I was having my main character moment, but life in the city was also scary. I remembered the day when it was time for my parents to go back. At first, I thought that it was no big deal and it was gonna be okay, but boy was I wrong. I still remembered how I cried every night for 2 weeks and how I came to my best friend’s place sobbing because I don’t know how to handle college. Suddenly, I see how the city can be very daunting. How people will not spare you a glance, and how your life is just one out of many. I never forget the days where I would sit at my desk at night, working on a paper and then, when I looked up, all I can see on the balcony window are high rises towering over me. Suddenly, the city can make you feel insignificant and small.

Don’t get me wrong, living in the city on your own is amazing but it takes some time to get used to. Although I’m not a full adult with a job, I think I had a little taste of what it’s like living on your own

1. no one will protect you, steady you, or catch you. When you fall, you fall.
2. You can do whatever you want because no one will tell you what to do, even if you don’t have any clue on what you should do. 
3. You have to start taking care of yourself. Making good decisions and doing the right thing.

Realising this scared me. I felt like I was being thrown into a world that I know nothing of. I felt unprepared and unready, but then, I could no longer imagine a life without that sense of freedom and self. You start realising who you are, what you like and what you don’t. You begin building a life filled with things you love. It doesn’t have to require a lot of money like buying designer items at Collins street or going to brunch for an overpriced avocado toast (skip it honestly, it’s not worth it).

It could just be in the little things like going to the city market on a Sunday morning where every fruit and vegetable is at its freshest state. Or maybe taking a walk in city parks where you can explore nature and be fully surrounded without any buildings or cars in sight. Even going through discounted items with your best friend and then going to dinner at a small Chinese restaurant where the waitress screams at you  is just as fun if not more. 

All and all, the city is a place that never sleeps. No matter what time it is, day or night, you will hear sirens, trams, bells, your next-door neighbour, and your upstairs neighbour - which might be a problem if you’re a light sleeper. But no matter how brutal, daunting and cold the city can be, the many charms of life in the city will make you want to stay! 

- XOXO, GIRL ON PAPER